“In the most innocent way…

… I Dreamed of you. Missed you. & still need you”

♥

//code.jquery.com/jquery-1.11.1.min.js

</p>

There she stood— in the middle of the night standing tirelessly above the final hole she made. The air was quiet and still while the moon hung low in the sky illuminating her progress. The three sizable holes she dug deep into the earth were each filled with pain, sorrow, resent, grudges, and strain. The longer she stood there, the more her eyes welled up with sadness. Suddenly a few tears escaped, all rolling down her cold skin and making death-defying leaps into the holes. That was the last of her she had to offer.

Throughout the next year and a half, she’d make frequent visits to that old field. Often walking by to see that nothing has grown or changed. She had hoped for a sign that would confirm the decision she made to dig, fill, and leave the holes behind her. The demolition of a beautiful landscape only leads to unrepairable destruction. So she thought…until the drunken night that led her to the oldest hole she made. Something was missing and she felt the need to take a closer look.

As she walked closer, it suddenly erupted! Erupted with…

…open arms? What?

Before she could make any sense of what was happening, her heart grew large and butterflies filled her stomach and.. and… and.. and…
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

She felt around the side of her bed for her phone. With one eye still closed she managed to snooze the alarm and open up her Gmail app to check for any new emails. With no update on her new job offer, she turned away from her phone and pulled her knees up to her chest in an effort to curtail the painful stomach cramps. She hates how vivid and weird her dreams can get after a night of guzzling a full bottle of her favorite red. The three holes were symbols for the three close friends she blocked out of her life some time ago. While she made an effort to speak to one of them recently, the conversation didn’t go as expected since that “hole” wasn’t as receptive as she thought. Fuck whoever said that time heals all wounds, right? It was day 46 of self-isolation and things couldn’t get any weirder because she knew what was on the other end of the last part of this dream. Angelo was so welcoming when she reached out to him recently. His opened arms never felt so cherished. The day she got drunk and scrolled aimlessly through his social media profiles was the same day she found out his new relationship status, about his new life, and a little more about who this new person was that he grew up to be. Not sure if she was more jealous of his relationship status or more proud of his becoming, but both feelings cooperatively pushed her to send him drunk voice notes on Instagram. In the most innocent and spiritual way, she wanted to tell him,

“Dreamed of you. Missed you and… need you still”.

To be continued y’all… I want to touch on the dissipation of friendships and whether all good things do come to an end. CONCLUSIONS are a natural part of life but does it have to apply to everything?

In the meantime, play “Save Your Tears” by The Weeknd or “In Your Eyes” by The Weekend and re-read this post then share it with an old friend. LOVE AND LIGHT – BABY HOPE ♡